When a supervisor or co-worker puts their ego over the organization — and feels threatened by our competence and ethics — they often abuse us because they can. False accusations. Gossip. Exclusion. Belittling. Ignoring. Sabotage.

We suffer. We become overwhelmed with navigating the situation and experience re-trauma when our employers and government fail to hold the abusers accountable. Our dignity, our trust, and our mental, emotional, and financial health fall under attack.

We feel stuck in the trauma when it’s happening — and when we’re out of the toxic environment.

Maybe you’re currently in a toxic work environment wondering, “what can I do to stop this maddening injustice?”

No matter what you do to fix the situation, there’s a giant target on your back. You go into work every day wondering what the next nightmare will be. Lying about you? Ignoring you? Taking away responsibilities? Gossiping about you?

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. You’re sick to your stomach and stressed out of your mind. Anxiety. Depression. Daily. You’re consumed with:

• Figuring out how you can change to make the bully happy (and realizing NOTHING is ever good enough — no matter how above and beyond you go)
• Ruminating about what you could’ve done differently to avoid the nonsense or to fight back (the scenarios seem endless, but you insist on finding the perfect one)
• Wondering if what the bully says about you is true (you know it’s not, but you’re confused why people are starting to believe what he says)
• Bouncing from figuring out how to confront the bully to whether or not to speak up to deciding if and when to leave — and never landing on a solution that feels right
• Believing you’re just one move away from the organization stepping in and holding the bully accountable once and for all (but what will that move be?)
• Justifying to people in your life that it’s NOT you by filling in every detail as evidence
• Worrying about what other health issues will crop up the longer you stay in the nightmare

You focus on how on earth you’ll muster the energy to get up tomorrow to go to work and dodge the landmines. You spend every minute of your commute into work DREADING dealing with the bully. You hold back tears. You feel nauseous.

Forget trying to grow in your career. Forget having a plan. You’re just trying to make it through the day.

Or maybe you’re out of the toxic workplace, but you’re still wondering, “when will this pain end?”

No matter what you do to move on with your life, you’re stuck in the motions of life. Wake up. Feel numb and bitter. Make it through the day. Repeat.

You can’t stop ruminating about the “what ifs,” blaming yourself for what happened, and feeling angry about everything you lost.

Meanwhile, the more you try to fix it, the more you feel frustrated with yourself for not conquering the pain. You’re consumed with:

• The hopelessness. The anger. The hurt. The abandonment. The betrayal not just by a bully but by an employer you thought would do the right thing and a government you thought would be on right side of humanity
• Wondering how you’ll ever trust again, how you’ll get your career back, and how you’ll feel part of the world again
• Feeling like a burden or annoyance or just plain not good enough
• Thinking about how you can feel recovered from a situation with no justice
• Worrying about what other health issues will crop up now that you’re still stressed out about a situation you’re no longer in

You wonder how you’ll get the confidence to look for another job, interview, and avoid another nightmare work situation. You need some kind of break — anything — but the pain lingers.

Either way, it’s BEYOND exhausting.

You wish you knew what’s worked for others who’ve navigated and healed from workplace abuse. 

What you really want is to stand in your power and put the wheels in motion to…

• Get yourself where YOU want to be: killing it on a collaborative winning team you love, heading up your own business you’re passionate about, taking a break in a survival job to re-charge — whatever serves your soul
• Know the truth behind what’s going on
• Have a solid grasp on what you deserve
• Use tools to understand and communicate your needs — because you’re the only part of the equation you can control
• Get in an energizing work environment (where you can’t wait to get started on your work every morning)
• Feel in control of your life again (focused and confident even on a bad day)
• Know your values and purpose and sync them with all aspects of your life

And all of THAT means embracing YOU: feeling seen, knowing you matter, embracing the fun, and living life on YOUR terms.

I’m talking giving life a big HECK YES. (Laughing again, here you come.)

You can become it. The best part: we’ve got something to help.

The Re-Define Summit is about just that.

At the Re-Define Summit, you’ll connect with other targets as you hear from experts on topics around navigating and healing from abuse at work. Your new tools can help you live your best life.

The goal is to take a big step to understanding how to now define yourself according to YOUR values. Our team of experts will help you on that journey to get there.

It’s time to make it happen so you can become the CEO of Your Life.

THIS YEAR’S TOPICS

Subject to change

10-10:45am: Navigating abuse at work
Compare notes with other targets about what works when navigating the landmines.

11-11:45am: Ways to advocate to take back your voice and personal power
with Vicki Courtemanche, Massachusetts workplace anti-bullying legislation co-director
Employers know there’s a huge asymmetry of power at work. They have more resources that buy them power: lawyers and settlements to silence targets. But we can collectively use our voices to advocate for change. In this session, you’ll learn ways you can take your voice back to advocate for change so we can together say we deserve better.

12-1pm: Lunch and Game Show (it’s back!)

1-1:45pm: How to know your values after abuse at work
with Deb Falzoi, founder of Dignity Together and co-founder of Re-Define
When abusers at work manipulate us into thinking we’re the problem, we can feel stuck. How do we make sense of what happened? And how do we move forward? In this interactive session, we’ll get in touch we what WE value and need and how we can be intentional with our lives moving forward so we can find joy and fulfillment.

2-2:45pm: Healing from the trauma of abuse at work
Connect with other targets about what works with healing from the trauma.